2 – There is a serious miscommunication going on. Many people and Rabbi’s see guys going to Shofar and only hear, “I want to feel good” when in reality, guys are saying, “I want to feel” period. They are scared to even feel any emotion. By feel, I mean to reflect on it, give it space and honor it, instead of shutting it down since it doesn’t fit with toxic notions of bittul or kabbalas oyel that they were taught.
In fact, some guys are simply saying, “I want”. Forget about feelings, they’ve never allowed themselves to just be and exist without constant berating and beating of themselves.
Lastly, some guys, by going to Shofar, are simply saying, “I”. They can’t even conceive of having a desire. They are battul be’metziyus. Of course, they’re not emotionally (or intellectually but that’s a different story) resonant with that bittul bemetziyus so they suffer as do their families and friends.
3 – It saddens me to say this and I know this will make some people mad, but it must be said. The Rabbanim last night wasted a wonderful opportunity. Instead of showing up receptive and listening they showed up talking and lecturing. I was hoping to hear, “Ok Chevra, you got our attention. We obviously (as evidenced by over 1800 men going to Shofar) failed to provide for your needs and wants via Chassidus. So help us understand what you feel is missing, help us understand your pain so that we might come to appreciate your suffering and perhaps begin to help you recover.
I thought there might be a hat going around so that people could put in anonymous comments, real questions and burning issues that bother them.
I thought perhaps, there would be an all night marathon of learning and study groups to begin the process of placing various Maamarim and sichos into different slots of issues.